While working the radar position…I heard aircraft X call aircraft Y over the 121.5 emergency frequency. This is not uncommon, but annoying because it comes out the same loudspeaker as the landline calls and, thus, must be fairly loud. There was no response to aircraft X’s call. A few minutes later aircraft X again called aircraft Y. I assumed at this point that aircraft Y must have gone no-radio and aircraft X was trying to help locate him. Again, no response…After aircraft X had called aircraft Y for the third or fourth time on the emergency frequency…aircraft Y replied, ‘This is aircraft Y.’ At this point, aircraft X said, ‘We’re going to be arriving just a few minutes behind you, so would you hold the van for us so we can get to the hotel?’ I keyed up and said, ‘This doesn’t sound like an emergency.’ Both pilots then responded with comments about, ‘Where’s the Guard Police when you need them?’ and ‘Must not be a very busy night.’

Apparently these pilots who were at FL350 and FL390 don’t realize that, at those altitudes, their radio range is several hundred miles. Since this emergency frequency is monitored at [most] ATC facilities, I suspect that their conversation came over the loudspeakers in at least 3 Centers, probably a dozen Approach Controls, dozens of Towers, multiple RCO[Remote Communications] outlets at AFSS [Automated Flight Service Station], plus hundreds of commercial aircraft cockpits. I suspect someone at one of these locations was busy and was probably distracted, at least momentarily, from their primary safety function. I also suspect that the airline has some other method for inter-aircraft communications. It is events like this that make controllers, and probably pilots, instinctively turn down a speaker that is making noise in the background. A subsequent actual emergency call could go unheard because these [pilots] chose the inappropriate means to communicate.

We had a flight control problem and declared an emergency. ATC seemed concerned with our actions as we requested vectors until we ran the checklists and prepared the aircraft for landing. One controller even mentioned that they had another carrier’s big arrival rush they were concerned about. We had been vectored to the south of the airport heading north when ATC announced a traffic alert. We were at 5,000 feet and so was traffic according to our TCAS as we received a RA for a 1,500 fpm descent. We deviated from our assigned 5,000 feet to comply as the other aircraft came within 300 feet vertically. After the RA, we climbed back to 5,000 feet. We crossed over the airport to the north and requested a downwind for Runway XX…We were told to follow another carrier to Runway XX. Our approach speed was faster than normal as was required by the QRH [Quick Reference Handbook]. On short final, the other carrier was still on the runway and finally cleared [the runway] prior to touchdown. Once we landed and it was safe to clear the runway, there were not many options to clear because there were aircraft lined up on the parallel taxiway south of Runway XX. I was somewhat concerned about the emergency fire crews maneuvering around these aircraft if we did need assistance on the ground. We finally did clear….

ATC could better assist emergency aircraft and protect airspace and runway environment [if] priority is given to emergency aircraft. I would have preferred that all traffic was kept clear of us while we worked out our checklists to avoid having to deviate in an emergency. I also would have preferred that all traffic was held or vectored from both landing runways from the time we announced we were ready to land until the time we cleared the runway. Keeping the parallel taxiway clear for us except for the emergency vehicles would have been appropriate, also.